Happy St. Patrick's Day!

For one day a year, we're all Irish and embrace the green clover, but lest we forget, let's keep the Patrick in St. Patty's Day (man, does that sound familiar.) In any case, here is St. Patrick's "Breastplate Prayer" to give some substance to our revelry.

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever.
By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan river;
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;*
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the cherubim;
The sweet 'well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the Prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun's life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech, H
is heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

If you want a quick, entertaining taste of Irish monastic history and the origins of Patrick, check out Robert Cahill's How the Irish Saved Civilization. And if you want to listen to some good St. Patty's music, let me recommend The Pogues, The Dubliners, and for my hard rocking amigos some Fogging Molly.

A New Direction (pt. 2) - the cliff notes version

Let’s play ketchup (catsup?)

Stopped stuffing what God was doing in my heart and got honest with myself and some trusted mentors (finally! ...more on that in an earlier blog entry)

Started a one-year intentional process of discernment to make sense of what God had next for me

Felt God leading in the direction of teaching and mentoring college students as they prepare for ministry

Got accepted at Princeton Theological Seminary for a ThM progam in Historical Theology (woohoo!)

Shared the transition news with our core team at church and started a six month journey of trust, obedience, and flexibility (amazing people, amazing community)

Got a phone call from Rick Rhoads at Lancaster Bible College about the potential of a full-time assistant professor position in the Student Ministry major (unexpected curve ball)

Applied at LBC In-Cognito and really tried to be content with whatever God chose ("tried")

Got hired! (unexpected)

Called Princeton to say I wasn’t coming and they could keep my deposit check (awkward!)

Had the opportunity to interview and invite in an amazing guy to take over in the Sr. High one week after I stepped down! (huge answer to prayer)

Moved in with my in-laws and took a good ribbing from my brother-in-law for it (heheh)

Started working at LBC over the summer, which broke me of my night-owl lifestyle and fit me like a glove (humbled and amazed)

Took my wife to the Baltimore Zoo (meh)

Took the tuition money and instead bought our first house in Mount Joy, PA (on settlement day the first floor toilet stopped working… hilarious! It’s working now)

Wrote this blog entry (finally!)

Tuesday Night Quotes

Here's some "quotant quotables" for your Tuesday night, compliments of Douglas Coupland. This guy right here. I came across them in some old college notes I've been reviewing as I prep for a class.

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"When you're young, you always feel that life hasn't yet begun -- that "life" is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays -- whenever. But then suddenly you're old and the scheduled life didn't arrive. You find yourself asking, 'Well then, exactly what was it I was having -- that interlude -- the scrambly madness -- all that time I had before?"
— Douglas Coupland (Life After God)

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"I realized that once people are broken in certain ways they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one."
— Douglas Coupland (Life After God)

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“Now, here is my secret: I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God--that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love."
— Douglas Coupland (Life After God)

the know-it-all

I just finished reading A.J. Jacobs' The Know It All: One Man's Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World. Jacobs sets out to become the smartest man alive by reading cover to cover the 2002 Encyclopædia Britannica - all 32 volumes, all 33,000 pages, all 44 million words - and along the way records his journey. I'll spoil the ending for you... he makes it through Zyweic, a small city in Southern Poland. As for the book, Jacobs mixes in a fascinating blend of trivia, wisdom, humor, and transparency about his struggle to measure up to both a renaissance-genius father and his own lofty childhood belief that he was secretly the smartest kid alive.

What I love about the book is how closely I can identify it. Growing up in a house stocked with both the Encyclopædia Britannica and the World Book Encyclopedia (the less sophisticated cousin), I can remember spending countless hours paging through thick volumes looking at pictures, studying diagrams, reading captions, and chewing on entries that were both completely random and captivating. It was a completely nerd thing to do, but in our house, it felt safe and comforting.

I've always loved learning, discovering new and interesting things, even if they were completely random and impractical. There was something beautiful about connecting disparate stories, events, facts, and figures... to see everything as part of a larger story, a historical wave sweeping us along. Whether we knew it or not, we all somehow contributed to it... from Nebuchadnezzar to Darwin, from an unnamed weaver in 12th century Germany to Hong Xiuquan. I like that.

In one sense, Jacobs gave me permission to geek-out again, or at least embrace the inner geek. But Jacobs also pointed out the dark side of insatiable learning. As he crammed his brain more and more with facts, tidbits, and trivia, it became impossible for him to not leak it out over friends and family in all kinds of awkward and ill-fitting social conversations. He was becoming a know-it-all.

Hereto let it be know, that I, too, can come across as a know-it-all.

I'm sure I've irritated way too many people with what seems like a completely inappropriate or poorly timed interjection of a factoid or historical nugget, but when you live with so many floating around inside your head, I think you get used to them. You don't realize how awkward and embarrassing they are to a *well-adjusted, normal person*. Jacobs got fined a dollar by his wife anytime he let loose with a bit of information that she deemed irrelevant to the conversation at hand. My wife just shakes her head.

And its not that I have to be a know-it-all. It's not that I have to always be the one with the right answer. But I like it when I do. I like it when I can somehow use all this learning, give it some practical application, utilize it in a real-life scenario (I'm still waiting for the time when my knowledge about ergot poisoning and moldy bread will save a life or at least prevent another witch-hunt). And as honest as I can be, there's no hidden agenda for mental superiority... really, I don't mind if you're smarter than me, if you know more than me, if you correct me. I just love learning, and people tend to share what they love.

There should be a support-group for my kind of people. I think it could meet on Tuesday nights at the local community college... something about wikiholics or googlers anonymous. We could practice having coherent conversations that don't interpose theories about 4th century theologians or the fact that female possums have thirteen nipples.

... see?!? why do I even know that?!?

A Formula For Trial

Andrew Murray's "Formula For Trial"

1. He brought me here. It's by His will I am in this straight place. In that fact I will rest.
2. He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.
3. Then He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn.
4. In His good time, He will bring me out again - how and when He knows.
5. So let me say: I am Here by God's appointment. In His Keeping. Under His training. For His time.

Murray's formula was derived from his sermon entitled, "Anchors to Throw Out in a Time of Testing," based on Acts 27:28-29

"²⁸ They took soundings and found that the water was a hundred and twenty feet deep. A short time later they took soundings again and found it was ninety feet deep. ²⁹ Fearing that we would be dashed against the rocks, they dropped four anchors from the stern and prayed for daylight."

Voyage of the Dawn Treader

so excited for this!



Voyage of the Dawn Treader was by far my favorite of the Narnia series. Incidentally, the cardboard boat I made in Engineering 101 at Cedarville University was named "Dawn Treader", though it wasn't nearly as sea-worthy.

A New Direction (pt. 1)

I never wanted to be one of those youth pastors that left too soon, that jumped ship when things got tough or something better came along. I didn’t want to be a youth pastor that was all about the numbers and the events. I truly believe in incarnational ministry, ministry driven by relationship, focused on discipleship, and in it for the long haul. That’s what made the first step on this journey so incredibly difficult.

About a year ago, something started stirring in my heart. Deep below the waterline, there was a new dissonance, longing, and confusion that started to bubble up. It was this big swirling something that touched on identity, vocation, vision, and purpose. Think early midlife crisis without the sports car. It would rise up closer to the surface, and I would shove it back down.

Wash, rinse, and repeat.

Then last May, on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of the woods, staring at a fallen log and trying to stay silent enough to actually hear from God, something became crystal clear. It was as if God was saying, “Aaron, if you keep stuffing that down, you’re going to miss what I’m doing in your heart, what I desire to show you.”

And like a ton of bricks it hit me, I wasn’t being honest with myself, with God, or with anyone else for that matter. Whether it was out of a sense of duty or driven by my thoughts on how ministry should happen, I was not being attentive or open to God’s direction.

I didn’t want to be another one of “those guys.” I wanted to do and be what in our best human understanding a youth minister ought to do and be, not some flashy flash in the pan, but a humble, servant-minded, spirit-led, long term investor.

And then God simply said, “Let go and follow me.” Let go of assumptions about strategy, about direction, about timelines. Just listen and respond. Follow me.

And that became the first step in this crazy journey.

On a personal note: I want to apologize for not blogging much in the past few months, or for that matter not blogging at all about this year-long journey, but with some distance and reflection, I think I can start putting words to some parts of it, and I look forward to sharing it with you in the weeks ahead.

To be continued…